The Unspoken Rules of Tramping*

1.  You must look ridiculous.  
If your tramping clothes are colour-coordinated, you are not doing it right.  If you look or feel attractive, you are not doing it right.

2.  Under no circumstances may you take, wear, or even mention, denim. 
Denim is for urbanites who want to look good (refer to point 1).  It has no place in the bush.
2a) If one of your group breaks this rule, it is within your rights to ridicule the perpetrator, and then destroy the item of clothing in question.  How else will they learn?

3.  Pyjamas are for urban use only.   (Refer to point 2a.)

4.  Uncleanliness is next to godliness. 
All usual hygiene standards are to be suspended.  

5.  You are having fun!  You are definitely having fun!
Tramping is a fun, recreational activity.  Therefore, it must be fun. 

 

* Tramping is the New Zealand word for walking up and down hills and through rivers with a heavy pack on your back. 

[NB] These rules were written based on my personal experience of tramping into the Orongorongo Valley.  Despite my prior lack of awareness surrounding the unspoken rules of tramping, I did actually have fun (refer to rule 5), and would like to thank my friend Rachel for organising the tramp, and educating me on point 2, and 2a.